this year's love.

in a few days, 2008 will be over and all hopes will be on year 2009. I have great expectations for this upcoming year, since the one that is just ending was so...so what? So unlike any other year before. In a good way. I think.

2008 was a year of realizations, of little victories, of small defeats, of new discoveries. A year of new friendships, but also of sad goodbyes. The year where little Olive started getting her shit together, standing up for herself and telling -not very loudly but still- the rest of the world to fuck off. Other people are not always right, and 2008 had its very special way of proving it.

In 2008, i cried a lot. Sometimes for silly reasons, other times because i was confused, or lonely. Sometimes though, i cried because i was happy.
I laughed too, and not just a little bit. I laughed at myself, laughed at others, laughed because i did not know what else to do, or to hide something else.

I lost control at times, but never lost my values.
I lost patience too many times, but never lost hope.
I lost courage a few times, but never lost my inner strenght.

So what's to expect for 09?
2009 will be the year of big decisions.
style ''ça passe ou ça casse''
style art school vs law school
style money vs horses

But i think 2008 prepared me well for those choices, as i grew up a lot in the past year.
it's all up to me now.

i wish you all a merry xmas and a happy new year :)

the hook ups, the set ups, the fuck ups.

''The truth always comes out; it's one of the fundamental rules of time. And when it comes out, it can set you free or end everything you fought so hard for.''

-Gossip Girl

what

is

wrong

with

me?

i hate snow. snow is the devil. fuck snow.

1 more day, and the semester is over. it went by so so fast.
i learned a lot of things during my first months at champlain college.
i would like to share my experience :)

1. I can trust no one but myself;
whether it is for schoolwork or for life in general, it's all up to me-me-me.

2.The last thing i want in life is a relationship;
''she falls the players but she plays the same games''

3. I can't bullshit my way through everything;
...i was doing so good, fuck!

4. I really don't want to be a lawyer;
i'd rather die, sorry dad.

5. Being alone is awesome;
it just is, there is nothing else to say.

6. I am self-centered and hubristic;
but so is everyone i know.

7. The word ''hubris'' is now part of my everyday vocabulary, along with ''in fact'', ''flourished'' and ''emerged'' ;
thank you mr lemay, mr charpentier & mrs. kerr. thank you very much.

8. I am not a party person;
and my childhood dreams of hardcore partying in college are crushed.

9. I miss my old friends;
as much as i complained last year, i really miss having them around. you don't know what you got until it's gone...

10. I forgot what not being tired feels like;
and i would like to thank the liberal arts program for the mental mindfuck.

Three more semesters.
Then what?

poker face.

dear you.
i don't like you.

i thought you needed a crazy girl like me.
you don't.

and i don't need a perfect guy like you.
i fucking don't.

so it's all good then?

''So long, Honey Babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right''
Don't Think Twice, It's Alright - Bob Dylan

it's gonna be a long week

4 more days.

P.I.: Pas Intéressée.

Today was very Olivia-like: plain fucking weird.

First, an unplanned encounter at the metro brutally reminded me of my last moments as a high school student. (thank god he did not see me)

Second, i totally got raped by the liberal arts program: 73% in my philo essay and 72% in my humanities. both were worth 25% of MY LIFE so bye bye high average. very, very disapointing.

And last but not least, I would just like to say that i can't deal with guys. i just can't, ok?
i don't know what to say to them, i don't know how to act around them, i don't know what to do with them. ...unless i am fucked up drunk, but we all know how that usually ends.

5 more days.

what keeps me going.

so, i've been listening to a lot of music lately.
don't you love it when lyrics from a song fit your life / situation.
when you feel like the song has been written for you or could have been written by you.
well i do...

what keeps me going these days:

Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
''...But that's the way that it goes and that's what nobody knows, but everyday my confusion grows...''

Don't Mug Yourself - The Streets
''...the girl's rude, i know she's rude, but she screwed right through you, you'll be on your knees soon...''

Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
''...and the talking leads to touching, and the touching leads to sex, and then there is no mistery left. and it's bad news, baby i'm bad news, i'm just bad news...''

Love Lockdown - Kanye West
''...i can't keep my cool, so i keep it true. i got something to lose, so i gotta move. i can't keep myself and still keep you too.''

I Don't Want to Fall In Love - She Wants Revenge
''Right face, wrong time, he's sweet, but i don't wanna fall in love. Too late, so deep, better run 'cause i don't wanna fall in love. can't sleep, can't eat, can't think straight...''

Club Action - Yo Majesty
''Club action, get your ass on the floor, get your ass on the floor. fuck that shit, fuck that shit, say fuck that shit...''

Dangerous - Akon
''...notice you, noticing me, from accross the room i can see it and can't stop myself from looking. watch out i've seen her type before, that girl is so dangerous...''

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
''...i say no but they keep giving, so i keep on taking and no i ain't taken, we can keep on dating, i keep on demonstrating my love...''

it's just a jump to the left. and then a step to the right.

It's been exactly 16 days since i last put my ass on a horse.
i was sure i was going to miss it like crazy.
but fuck, no.
I'm back to being old party girl-crazy-whoreface Olivia.
is that bad?

changement de sujet...

I only have 6 days of school left.
wow. it went by soooo fast. maybe because i fucking enjoyed it?
Only 3 more semesters and it's university; now that's a bit scary.
whereamigonnagowhatamigonnadoamigoinganywherewiththis?


i need to hold it down now, my head's getting blurred
(Don't Mug Yourself.-The Streets)

Mehh.

let's call me olive.

i'm 17 going on 18.

horse lover
boy crazy
too much on the mind.

this blog is me; uncensored.