this year's love.

in a few days, 2008 will be over and all hopes will be on year 2009. I have great expectations for this upcoming year, since the one that is just ending was so...so what? So unlike any other year before. In a good way. I think.

2008 was a year of realizations, of little victories, of small defeats, of new discoveries. A year of new friendships, but also of sad goodbyes. The year where little Olive started getting her shit together, standing up for herself and telling -not very loudly but still- the rest of the world to fuck off. Other people are not always right, and 2008 had its very special way of proving it.

In 2008, i cried a lot. Sometimes for silly reasons, other times because i was confused, or lonely. Sometimes though, i cried because i was happy.
I laughed too, and not just a little bit. I laughed at myself, laughed at others, laughed because i did not know what else to do, or to hide something else.

I lost control at times, but never lost my values.
I lost patience too many times, but never lost hope.
I lost courage a few times, but never lost my inner strenght.

So what's to expect for 09?
2009 will be the year of big decisions.
style ''ça passe ou ça casse''
style art school vs law school
style money vs horses

But i think 2008 prepared me well for those choices, as i grew up a lot in the past year.
it's all up to me now.

i wish you all a merry xmas and a happy new year :)

the hook ups, the set ups, the fuck ups.

''The truth always comes out; it's one of the fundamental rules of time. And when it comes out, it can set you free or end everything you fought so hard for.''

-Gossip Girl

what

is

wrong

with

me?

i hate snow. snow is the devil. fuck snow.

1 more day, and the semester is over. it went by so so fast.
i learned a lot of things during my first months at champlain college.
i would like to share my experience :)

1. I can trust no one but myself;
whether it is for schoolwork or for life in general, it's all up to me-me-me.

2.The last thing i want in life is a relationship;
''she falls the players but she plays the same games''

3. I can't bullshit my way through everything;
...i was doing so good, fuck!

4. I really don't want to be a lawyer;
i'd rather die, sorry dad.

5. Being alone is awesome;
it just is, there is nothing else to say.

6. I am self-centered and hubristic;
but so is everyone i know.

7. The word ''hubris'' is now part of my everyday vocabulary, along with ''in fact'', ''flourished'' and ''emerged'' ;
thank you mr lemay, mr charpentier & mrs. kerr. thank you very much.

8. I am not a party person;
and my childhood dreams of hardcore partying in college are crushed.

9. I miss my old friends;
as much as i complained last year, i really miss having them around. you don't know what you got until it's gone...

10. I forgot what not being tired feels like;
and i would like to thank the liberal arts program for the mental mindfuck.

Three more semesters.
Then what?

poker face.

dear you.
i don't like you.

i thought you needed a crazy girl like me.
you don't.

and i don't need a perfect guy like you.
i fucking don't.

so it's all good then?

''So long, Honey Babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right''
Don't Think Twice, It's Alright - Bob Dylan

it's gonna be a long week

4 more days.

P.I.: Pas Intéressée.

Today was very Olivia-like: plain fucking weird.

First, an unplanned encounter at the metro brutally reminded me of my last moments as a high school student. (thank god he did not see me)

Second, i totally got raped by the liberal arts program: 73% in my philo essay and 72% in my humanities. both were worth 25% of MY LIFE so bye bye high average. very, very disapointing.

And last but not least, I would just like to say that i can't deal with guys. i just can't, ok?
i don't know what to say to them, i don't know how to act around them, i don't know what to do with them. ...unless i am fucked up drunk, but we all know how that usually ends.

5 more days.